S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #556:
If you do indeed catch Agent Barton ‘nesting’ in the rafters, do not tease him about it. Any injuries from distasteful bird jokes being made are entirely your fault.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #553:
If one Kate Bishop shows up and she looks very mad, it would be wise to just let her through to ‘talk’ to Agent Barton and not interfere.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #497:
Do not ask Agent Barton if he has a nest up in the rafters. Nor if he has any eggs.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #492:
Agent Barton’s code name is ‘Hawkeye’, not ‘Hot Guy’.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #490:
If Agent Barton is eating gummy worms, do not ask him to feed you ‘like a mama bird’.

[Submitted by mausi-shan]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #488:
Please do not taunt Agent Barton with bird calls. You will not dodge whatever he shoots back at you.

[Submitted by rainbowtrolls]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #430:
Referring to Agent Barton by the name ‘Doctor Pierce’ is not as witty as you might think it is.

[Submitted by ravenclaw-is-awesome]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #422:
For your own safety, do not tell Agent Barton he is ‘pretty in purple’.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #416:
Do not follow Agent Barton around whilst making bird noises, nor ask if he is a Ravenclaw. We are not responsible for any injuries that you may sustain from these activities.

[Submitted by mausi-shan]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #411:
Agent Barton is a self proclaimed master of hide-and-seek. Whenever someone questions this, he goes around relentlessly challenging everyone he sees to a game, including the one who questioned him, until he feels he’s proved his point. So for the sake of everyone else, just nod your head and agree with him.

[Submitted by shieldagentmaller]