Survival Tips for S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruits
S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #503: Stop asking Agent Coulson if he wants to test your weapon and see what it does. He doesn’t.
[Submitted by elkian]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #503:
Stop asking Agent Coulson if he wants to test your weapon and see what it does. He doesn’t.

[Submitted by elkian]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #496: Any attempt to start a prank war in the office will be frowned upon, and if one of these pranks reaches the higher-ups, you will not be protected from their retaliation. Ask the recruit that ended up upside down outside of Coulson’s office.
[Submitted by pen2sword]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #496:
Any attempt to start a prank war in the office will be frowned upon, and if one of these pranks reaches the higher-ups, you will not be protected from their retaliation. Ask the recruit that ended up upside down outside of Coulson’s office.

[Submitted by pen2sword]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #494: Do not refer to either Agent Coulson or Captain Rogers as ‘the Den Mother’.
[Submitted by elkian]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #494:
Do not refer to either Agent Coulson or Captain Rogers as ‘the Den Mother’.

[Submitted by elkian]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #431:Stealing donuts from Agent Coulson is not encouraged. Even if they are two days old.
[Submitted by melsmerleawe]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #431:
Stealing donuts from Agent Coulson is not encouraged. Even if they are two days old.

[Submitted by melsmerleawe]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #413:Please do not follow Agent Coulson around humming the Ghostbusters song. He doesn’t like that. And after retaliation, you’ll find that you won’t either.
[Submitted by writtenreadspoken]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #413:
Please do not follow Agent Coulson around humming the Ghostbusters song. He doesn’t like that. And after retaliation, you’ll find that you won’t either.

[Submitted by writtenreadspoken]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #385:Try not to underestimate operatives. Agent Coulson may be ‘just’ the handler of the Avengers, but he is also one of the most skilled agents this organization has, and can neutralize you ten ways to Sunday any time he wants.
[Submitted by cleareyesfullheartscantlosee]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #385:
Try not to underestimate operatives. Agent Coulson may be ‘just’ the handler of the Avengers, but he is also one of the most skilled agents this organization has, and can neutralize you ten ways to Sunday any time he wants.

[Submitted by cleareyesfullheartscantlosee]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #382:Yes, Agent Coulson used to be nicknamed ‘Cheese’ when he was in the military. The reasons remain undisclosed, however, and making assumptions is generally unwise. Therefore, you really do not have to attempt to create an artisanal cheese and name it after him.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #382:
Yes, Agent Coulson used to be nicknamed ‘Cheese’ when he was in the military. The reasons remain undisclosed, however, and making assumptions is generally unwise. Therefore, you really do not have to attempt to create an artisanal cheese and name it after him.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #377:Agent Coulson’s middle name is not ‘Soul Crusher’. Don’t imply that it is. [Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #377:
Agent Coulson’s middle name is not ‘Soul Crusher’. Don’t imply that it is.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #355:Coulson sees all. All.[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #355:
Coulson sees all. All.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #346:Although bribery is not encouraged, gifting a set of authentic vintage Captain America trading cards (mint condition only) to Agent Coulson may possibly result in an increase in your security clearance. Do not abuse this opportunity; he can tell a counterfeit.
[Submitted by emilydoeswhatshewants]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #346:
Although bribery is not encouraged, gifting a set of authentic vintage Captain America trading cards (mint condition only) to Agent Coulson may possibly result in an increase in your security clearance. Do not abuse this opportunity; he can tell a counterfeit.

[Submitted by emilydoeswhatshewants]