Survival Tips for S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruits
S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #551: No matter how amusing it might be, it isn’t wise to cry out ‘Beam me up, Scotty,’ if you are fortunate enough to get to travel via the Bifrost.
[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #551:
No matter how amusing it might be, it isn’t wise to cry out ‘Beam me up, Scotty,’ if you are fortunate enough to get to travel via the Bifrost.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #550: Do not refer to Thor as ‘Sparky’ or ‘Thunder Guy’.
[Submitted by allianastormchaser]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #550:
Do not refer to Thor as ‘Sparky’ or ‘Thunder Guy’.

[Submitted by allianastormchaser]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #549: Touching or playing with any equipment belonging to a member of the Avengers Initiative is prohibited. Should you do so, S.H.I.E.L.D. is not required to pay for any damage to your personal property that occurs afterwards.
[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #549:
Touching or playing with any equipment belonging to a member of the Avengers Initiative is prohibited. Should you do so, S.H.I.E.L.D. is not required to pay for any damage to your personal property that occurs afterwards.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #548: Going in the Avengers common room and starting any sentence with ‘I’m sure none of you would dare…’ is highly discouraged.
[Submitted by Sam]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #548:
Going in the Avengers common room and starting any sentence with ‘I’m sure none of you would dare…’ is highly discouraged.

[Submitted by Sam]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #547: Don’t make fun of the chemists because their work is ‘boring’ compared to that of the physicists and the biologists. S.H.I.E.L.D. management will not be held responsible if they change your H2O to H2SO4.
[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #547:
Don’t make fun of the chemists because their work is ‘boring’ compared to that of the physicists and the biologists. S.H.I.E.L.D. management will not be held responsible if they change your H2O to H2SO4.

[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #546: Asking when Batman will get here is grounds for, if not dismissal, at least a crack across the head.
[Submitted by whatibelievein]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #546:
Asking when Batman will get here is grounds for, if not dismissal, at least a crack across the head.

[Submitted by whatibelievein]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #545: Unless you want to lose four months’ pay within an hour, don’t join in on a game of poker involving Agent Romanov, Mr. Stark, or Dr. Banner.
[Submitted by residentpyromaniac]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #545:
Unless you want to lose four months’ pay within an hour, don’t join in on a game of poker involving Agent Romanov, Mr. Stark, or Dr. Banner.

[Submitted by residentpyromaniac]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #544: Do not attempt to start a ‘Vintage ’40s Day’ on the Helicarrier just to see Captain Rogers’s reaction.
[Submitted by a-creepy-black-van-pulled-up-and]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #544:
Do not attempt to start a ‘Vintage ’40s Day’ on the Helicarrier just to see Captain Rogers’s reaction.

[Submitted by a-creepy-black-van-pulled-up-and]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #543: Tony Stark is not in the S.H.I.E.L.D. chain of command. He cannot make you do things, therefore ‘Tony made me do it’ is not a valid excuse for anything.
[Submitted by chrisevansalexoloughlin]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #543:
Tony Stark is not in the S.H.I.E.L.D. chain of command. He cannot make you do things, therefore ‘Tony made me do it’ is not a valid excuse for anything.

[Submitted by chrisevansalexoloughlin]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #542: If you suspect you have superpowers, do not try to use them in a combat situation. Using them without practice may do more harm than good, especially under such high-stress scenarios. Inform your superior officer, and do not be surprised if they require a demonstration. You will not lose your job for revealing your powers.
[Submitted by enkiduofvideogames]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #542:
If you suspect you have superpowers, do not try to use them in a combat situation. Using them without practice may do more harm than good, especially under such high-stress scenarios. Inform your superior officer, and do not be surprised if they require a demonstration. You will not lose your job for revealing your powers.

[Submitted by enkiduofvideogames]